Flashforward, Because I Fucking Feel Like It

Kay rolled her eyes as Lexi sat back down in a huff. "I can't believe what I'm hearing. I can't believe you let things go this far."

"Just screw off and let me be." Lexi snapped. "You don't understand and you never will. And there's nothing to be done about it. That's just how it is."

"Do you want to die? Because that's what's going to happen if you keep going the way you're going. And don't give me all that 'woe-is-me-life-is-hard bullshit' because that's downright selfish!" Kay paced off to the left. "Everyone's got shit, Lex. Everyone has to deal. It's called life, and you can't let it get the best of you. All we have is love! All we can feel is love! And if you've lost that, be my guest."

Kay turned back to Lexi with a cold glint in her eye. "If you've lost all that, I feel sorry for you. So go ahead. I'm not stopping you. It's your life. You can ruin it however you please."

"So why are you still here? Why the fuck are you still around?!"

Kay leaned in and lowered her voice to a simmer. "Because I know you still have love in your heart. I see it when you look at that little girl like she was your sister. You wanna die?!" Kay started pacing again, boots clumping angrily on the floor. "You wanna die in front of her?!"

Lexi turned away so that Kay wouldn't see the tears streaming down her skin, leathered and wrinkled with stress. Eyes puffy from not sleeping.

"It's your heart Lex. You're the one who has to live with yourself."

Chapter 4, Part 2

"Just listen to the rhythm of the gentle bossa nova. You'll be dancing with 'em too before the night is over..." Lexi harmonized along with Petula Clark on the radio while cruising along down the highway with the windows down. She loved this part of the road when rush hour was over and the scent of pine and lavender would waft into her little Miada. "The lights are much brighter there, you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares, so go..."

*Dingadingding dingadingding dingadingdoodaaaaaaa*

*Dingadingding dingadingding dingadingdoodaaaaaaa*

Lexi sighed and reached over to the cell phone that had so rudely interrupted her afternoon musicale. After checking the caller ID, she snapped open the old flip phone with a flourish of simulated sass.

"Kay, you have just succeeded in interrupting my favorite feel-good song at the APEX of it's odyssey. This had better be good."

"Oh don't get all in a hoo haa. I was just wondering where you disappeared off to? I didn't think you had been in the group to go off to the press conference, but then when I looked around the lab, you had pulled the vanishing act!"

"Yeah, I took off to check out a little coffee shop that's been doing well. The one at the corner of Oak and Roe. It seems to be a popular spot for a lot of the moms and kids since it's right by the park and pool, so I thought maybe I'd do a write up on it. Talk to the manager and customers. You know, get a feel for the place, and hopefully some press for the business to help some of these local spots out."

"Oh Lex, you're such a goodie goodie! Honestly, could you be any more boring?"

Lexi chuckled. "Come on, my wild days are over. Time to be a grown up now. Pull up my big girl panties and do some real work!"

"There you go being all philanthropic and shit!" Kay rebutted, changing her voice to a hoity toity formal formal imitation of Lexi's timbre. "Contributing to the local economy and the quality of life of the families in the area."

"You should do impersonations at the Karaoke club downtown, Kay. I bet they'd get a kick out of you."

"Seriously though, Lex! You work too hard! Come on, how about we go out tonight. Some music, some dancing..." Lexi could practically hear the grin on Kay's face "...a little booze... Drinks on me?"

"Kay, it's a school night!"

"I won't tell if you won't, sister!"

Lexi sighed. "No...no... I have to be up for an 8am class tomorrow morning. Law of Mass Communications. And we're having a guest speaker, so I really can't miss it."

"Well you've got to get out sometime, hon! Tell you what: how about we meet at the strip mall down the street from The Lab and get in a little retail therapy. Is that calm enough for you?"

"I just have this story to write and..."

"Oh the story can wait!" Kay interrupted. Do the interview and then get that hardworking ass of yours over here! You're making me tired just arguing with you. And then we can giggle about stupid things we saw on the internet and talk about our nails and just have a good old fashioned girl time. And I don't want to hear any more buts. You're coming!"

"You are so stubborn!" Lexi countered, pretending to be annoyed. But, to be honest, a break with Kay did sound nice. "I guess I can't refuse a good time with the awesomest girl in town." She sighed.

"Great! Head on over after your boring stuff is done with."

"Kay?" Lexi blurted before her friend had a chance to hang up.

"Yeah Lex?"

"Have I ever told you what an amazing chica you are?"

"Hey! Whoa now! Don't get too mush on me! I'm allergic to chumminess, you know."

Lexi laughed. "See you in a bit" and then she hung up.

The rest of the drive to the coffeehouse was made with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. She murmured to herself as she pulled into the shop's lot. "Downtown! Things will be great when you're downtown..."

Chapter 4, Part 1

We all have something. Some kind of hope that needs to be real. Some kind of light that needs to be truth. A little part deep inside ourselves that needs to be bundled up and stored away; covered by a tarp to keep the prying fingers of dust and time at bay. Raindrops that we so passively and desperately ignore with the hope that they might pour themselves back into the cloud.