Some days we write and the words come flowing. Sometimes they lay stopped up inside the pen; corked like a bottle of sweet wine left to age just a little longer. Sometimes we feel things we can't explain, experiences lost in the webbed maze of connections we call the mind.
Lexi's writing tried to speak of a story long since past. Her articles were mere band-aids to hide and underlying mess of freelance that none would ever read because of the infection that oozed from between the lines. Pages locked inside her. Words only she knew.
She had plans for this part, but upon putting ink to paper, she found her words insufficient.
So she poured her time that afternoon into doing justice to that little coffee shop on the corner and the people inhabiting that special corner of the world.
But one thing about entities such as fear, anger, and hate is that they demand to be felt, however long you ignore them. And once a writer allows her soul to feel, the poison will dance it's way across the page without mercy.
But be still dear restless heart. Walk gingerly, and take good care not to let your fleeting whims overcome what you know inside to be truth and song. Pursuit of peace will sometimes lead a heart astray; a road to hell. And good intentions will often hide a darker scheme.
A page stained black.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Chapter 4, Part 3
Black Grounds was an interesting mixture of a jazz club and coffee hangout. the first thing Lexi was greeted with when she walked in was the wax and ebb of a band, located on a slightly raised platform that could've either been a stage or a dance floor. An acoustic guitar and soprano saxophone serenaded each other, effortlessly, going back and forth in harmony's exchange.
The second sensory pleasure that met her was the smell that seemed to hover in the atmosphere throughout the room, like cigarette smoke in a casino. Coffee. Sweet, dark, and smooth. And not the stuff you buy from a grocery store or a chain.
Real coffee.
And with those two pleasures caressing her nose and ears, she knew this place was special. A little corner of peace within the chaos. A little taste of sex in a sterile world.
"Can I help you miss?" A teen holding a broom and wearing a dark gray apron Black Grounds's logo embroidered on the front broke Lexi's awe.
"Um yes, I have a meeting with April Johnston? The manager of this facility? Is she by any chance available?"
"Of course! have a seat and I'll let her know you've arrived." The teen swirled on her heel with a whip of cherry blonde hair and went off to the back of the store.
"Thanks" Lexi mumbled to herself before looking around for available spots to sit. It was a small shop, and relatively full. a pair of businessmen sipping an Espresso and what she assumed to be an Americano. A young girl with a laptop and textbook, bobbing her head to the music. a pair of moms bouncing toddlers on their knees, while swapping gossip between sips of Frappe.
Lexi chose a bench underneath the windowsill and sat down to enjoy the atmosphere while she waited. She felt slightly awkward and out of place among the comfort and ease of the shop. A glance at her notebook. A glance at her watch.
"You're new here." Lexi's head snapped up in surprise at the soft voice from her right. She looked over to see a girl, maybe 9 or 10 years old. Dark brown hair falling out of a long braid in unruly whisps and a gaze of large chocolate eyes. She was certainly dressed well, with a pair of designer jeans that fit perfectly on her lanky little frame, and high end sneakers on her awkward puppy feet. But she seemed to be alone, which surprised Lexi. "I can tell. I've never seen you before. This is your first time."
"Really?" Lexi said, a smile creeping into her eyes. "And how do you know I haven't come sometime when you were at home? Or school?"
"Oh, I'm here ALL the time. This is practically my shop. And I don't go to school." The way she said it made Lexi laugh.
"Oh? No school?"
"Uh huh. I have a tutor and do my classes online. And my dad brings me here when he does his work. He meets with his business assotiates." Lexi's smile grew at the mispronunciation of the word that the child was obviously so proud of using. "So I get to sit here a lot." The child gave a little smirk, revealing a gap in her two front teeth. The girl would need braces soon enough. "Alice sometimes gives me hot chocolate for FREE, if I draw her pictures. See?"
She enthusiastically showed Lexi the drink in her hand. "I tried coffee once, but it was so NASTY. I don't know how grown ups drink that stuff. It tastes like..." she hesitated and looked around before leaning in towards Lexi's ear and whispering "poop!" in a tiny squeak, and then backing away with a giggle. "I asked Alice once, and she said it's an 'aquired taste'." The girl got a funny look on her face. "I'm not really sure what that means...but I think it means when you're a grown up, you're tongue changes and you like things like beer and brussels sprouts. And BOYS."
Lexi let out another laugh at this quirky little girl who had struck up such a conversation. "You know what hon, I'm 23 and I STILL don't understand beer. Or brussels sprouts. Or even boys."
It was then that the blond teen with the apron came over. "Mrs. Johnston can see you for a moment, if you're ready."
Lexi winked at her new friend. "I've got to go now, but it was wonderful chatting with you ma'me." The young girl's face transformed into a bigger toothy smile and she sat a little straighter, obvioulsy feeling grown up and important after being called "ma'me".
Lexi walked off with the barista to the back of the shop. "So you must be the famous Alice?"
"That I am. And you've been talking with the famous Charity?"
"So that's her name?" Lexi mused. "Cute kid!"
"She really is, bless her heart. Her father's here all the time for business. I have no idea why she doesn't stay with her mom or go to school and play with kids her own age. She just sits by herself and draws. Will talk your ear off if you let her!"
Lexi snorted at the observation. "I noticed."
"You're with the paper, right?" Alice inquired. "The one at the college?"
"Yeah. Hoping to write a piece about this place. Really get you guys some press." Alice got a queer look on her face. "What?" Lexi asked.
"I don't know...I mean...I know we need the business, but there's something about this spot that's special. Private. Secret, you know? Our own secret little purlieu." She tittered. "At least, Charity and I think so."
Lexi understood that much. Who doesn't want their own haunt, their own sanctuary where they could just come and be. And that described the Black Grounds perfectly. Almost a physical manifestation of the mind mixing dark and light. Sultry and fresh. Real, if you would. Authentic in every way.
A place where truth could be truth, a musician could play the song in his heart, and a little girl could feel like a queen in her own little corner of the universe.
The words echoed in the back of Lexi's mind as she shook hands with the woman who then approached, introducing herself as the manager. She floated through the interview on autopilot, thinking about the secret Black Grounds on main, the girl named Charity with chocolate eyes, and the serenade of a soprano saxophone.
The second sensory pleasure that met her was the smell that seemed to hover in the atmosphere throughout the room, like cigarette smoke in a casino. Coffee. Sweet, dark, and smooth. And not the stuff you buy from a grocery store or a chain.
Real coffee.
And with those two pleasures caressing her nose and ears, she knew this place was special. A little corner of peace within the chaos. A little taste of sex in a sterile world.
"Can I help you miss?" A teen holding a broom and wearing a dark gray apron Black Grounds's logo embroidered on the front broke Lexi's awe.
"Um yes, I have a meeting with April Johnston? The manager of this facility? Is she by any chance available?"
"Of course! have a seat and I'll let her know you've arrived." The teen swirled on her heel with a whip of cherry blonde hair and went off to the back of the store.
"Thanks" Lexi mumbled to herself before looking around for available spots to sit. It was a small shop, and relatively full. a pair of businessmen sipping an Espresso and what she assumed to be an Americano. A young girl with a laptop and textbook, bobbing her head to the music. a pair of moms bouncing toddlers on their knees, while swapping gossip between sips of Frappe.
Lexi chose a bench underneath the windowsill and sat down to enjoy the atmosphere while she waited. She felt slightly awkward and out of place among the comfort and ease of the shop. A glance at her notebook. A glance at her watch.
"You're new here." Lexi's head snapped up in surprise at the soft voice from her right. She looked over to see a girl, maybe 9 or 10 years old. Dark brown hair falling out of a long braid in unruly whisps and a gaze of large chocolate eyes. She was certainly dressed well, with a pair of designer jeans that fit perfectly on her lanky little frame, and high end sneakers on her awkward puppy feet. But she seemed to be alone, which surprised Lexi. "I can tell. I've never seen you before. This is your first time."
"Really?" Lexi said, a smile creeping into her eyes. "And how do you know I haven't come sometime when you were at home? Or school?"
"Oh, I'm here ALL the time. This is practically my shop. And I don't go to school." The way she said it made Lexi laugh.
"Oh? No school?"
"Uh huh. I have a tutor and do my classes online. And my dad brings me here when he does his work. He meets with his business assotiates." Lexi's smile grew at the mispronunciation of the word that the child was obviously so proud of using. "So I get to sit here a lot." The child gave a little smirk, revealing a gap in her two front teeth. The girl would need braces soon enough. "Alice sometimes gives me hot chocolate for FREE, if I draw her pictures. See?"
She enthusiastically showed Lexi the drink in her hand. "I tried coffee once, but it was so NASTY. I don't know how grown ups drink that stuff. It tastes like..." she hesitated and looked around before leaning in towards Lexi's ear and whispering "poop!" in a tiny squeak, and then backing away with a giggle. "I asked Alice once, and she said it's an 'aquired taste'." The girl got a funny look on her face. "I'm not really sure what that means...but I think it means when you're a grown up, you're tongue changes and you like things like beer and brussels sprouts. And BOYS."
Lexi let out another laugh at this quirky little girl who had struck up such a conversation. "You know what hon, I'm 23 and I STILL don't understand beer. Or brussels sprouts. Or even boys."
It was then that the blond teen with the apron came over. "Mrs. Johnston can see you for a moment, if you're ready."
Lexi winked at her new friend. "I've got to go now, but it was wonderful chatting with you ma'me." The young girl's face transformed into a bigger toothy smile and she sat a little straighter, obvioulsy feeling grown up and important after being called "ma'me".
Lexi walked off with the barista to the back of the shop. "So you must be the famous Alice?"
"That I am. And you've been talking with the famous Charity?"
"So that's her name?" Lexi mused. "Cute kid!"
"She really is, bless her heart. Her father's here all the time for business. I have no idea why she doesn't stay with her mom or go to school and play with kids her own age. She just sits by herself and draws. Will talk your ear off if you let her!"
Lexi snorted at the observation. "I noticed."
"You're with the paper, right?" Alice inquired. "The one at the college?"
"Yeah. Hoping to write a piece about this place. Really get you guys some press." Alice got a queer look on her face. "What?" Lexi asked.
"I don't know...I mean...I know we need the business, but there's something about this spot that's special. Private. Secret, you know? Our own secret little purlieu." She tittered. "At least, Charity and I think so."
Lexi understood that much. Who doesn't want their own haunt, their own sanctuary where they could just come and be. And that described the Black Grounds perfectly. Almost a physical manifestation of the mind mixing dark and light. Sultry and fresh. Real, if you would. Authentic in every way.
A place where truth could be truth, a musician could play the song in his heart, and a little girl could feel like a queen in her own little corner of the universe.
The words echoed in the back of Lexi's mind as she shook hands with the woman who then approached, introducing herself as the manager. She floated through the interview on autopilot, thinking about the secret Black Grounds on main, the girl named Charity with chocolate eyes, and the serenade of a soprano saxophone.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Flashforward, Because I Fucking Feel Like It
Kay rolled her eyes as Lexi sat back down in a huff. "I can't believe what I'm hearing. I can't believe you let things go this far."
"Just screw off and let me be." Lexi snapped. "You don't understand and you never will. And there's nothing to be done about it. That's just how it is."
"Do you want to die? Because that's what's going to happen if you keep going the way you're going. And don't give me all that 'woe-is-me-life-is-hard bullshit' because that's downright selfish!" Kay paced off to the left. "Everyone's got shit, Lex. Everyone has to deal. It's called life, and you can't let it get the best of you. All we have is love! All we can feel is love! And if you've lost that, be my guest."
Kay turned back to Lexi with a cold glint in her eye. "If you've lost all that, I feel sorry for you. So go ahead. I'm not stopping you. It's your life. You can ruin it however you please."
"So why are you still here? Why the fuck are you still around?!"
Kay leaned in and lowered her voice to a simmer. "Because I know you still have love in your heart. I see it when you look at that little girl like she was your sister. You wanna die?!" Kay started pacing again, boots clumping angrily on the floor. "You wanna die in front of her?!"
Lexi turned away so that Kay wouldn't see the tears streaming down her skin, leathered and wrinkled with stress. Eyes puffy from not sleeping.
"It's your heart Lex. You're the one who has to live with yourself."
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Chapter 4, Part 2
"Just listen to the rhythm of the gentle bossa nova. You'll be dancing with 'em too before the night is over..." Lexi harmonized along with Petula Clark on the radio while cruising along down the highway with the windows down. She loved this part of the road when rush hour was over and the scent of pine and lavender would waft into her little Miada. "The lights are much brighter there, you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares, so go..."
*Dingadingding dingadingding dingadingdoodaaaaaaa*
*Dingadingding dingadingding dingadingdoodaaaaaaa*
Lexi sighed and reached over to the cell phone that had so rudely interrupted her afternoon musicale. After checking the caller ID, she snapped open the old flip phone with a flourish of simulated sass.
"Kay, you have just succeeded in interrupting my favorite feel-good song at the APEX of it's odyssey. This had better be good."
"Oh don't get all in a hoo haa. I was just wondering where you disappeared off to? I didn't think you had been in the group to go off to the press conference, but then when I looked around the lab, you had pulled the vanishing act!"
"Yeah, I took off to check out a little coffee shop that's been doing well. The one at the corner of Oak and Roe. It seems to be a popular spot for a lot of the moms and kids since it's right by the park and pool, so I thought maybe I'd do a write up on it. Talk to the manager and customers. You know, get a feel for the place, and hopefully some press for the business to help some of these local spots out."
"Oh Lex, you're such a goodie goodie! Honestly, could you be any more boring?"
Lexi chuckled. "Come on, my wild days are over. Time to be a grown up now. Pull up my big girl panties and do some real work!"
"There you go being all philanthropic and shit!" Kay rebutted, changing her voice to a hoity toity formal formal imitation of Lexi's timbre. "Contributing to the local economy and the quality of life of the families in the area."
"You should do impersonations at the Karaoke club downtown, Kay. I bet they'd get a kick out of you."
"Seriously though, Lex! You work too hard! Come on, how about we go out tonight. Some music, some dancing..." Lexi could practically hear the grin on Kay's face "...a little booze... Drinks on me?"
"Kay, it's a school night!"
"I won't tell if you won't, sister!"
Lexi sighed. "No...no... I have to be up for an 8am class tomorrow morning. Law of Mass Communications. And we're having a guest speaker, so I really can't miss it."
"Well you've got to get out sometime, hon! Tell you what: how about we meet at the strip mall down the street from The Lab and get in a little retail therapy. Is that calm enough for you?"
"I just have this story to write and..."
"Oh the story can wait!" Kay interrupted. Do the interview and then get that hardworking ass of yours over here! You're making me tired just arguing with you. And then we can giggle about stupid things we saw on the internet and talk about our nails and just have a good old fashioned girl time. And I don't want to hear any more buts. You're coming!"
"You are so stubborn!" Lexi countered, pretending to be annoyed. But, to be honest, a break with Kay did sound nice. "I guess I can't refuse a good time with the awesomest girl in town." She sighed.
"Great! Head on over after your boring stuff is done with."
"Kay?" Lexi blurted before her friend had a chance to hang up.
"Yeah Lex?"
"Have I ever told you what an amazing chica you are?"
"Hey! Whoa now! Don't get too mush on me! I'm allergic to chumminess, you know."
Lexi laughed. "See you in a bit" and then she hung up.
The rest of the drive to the coffeehouse was made with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. She murmured to herself as she pulled into the shop's lot. "Downtown! Things will be great when you're downtown..."
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Chapter 4, Part 1
We all have something. Some kind of hope that needs to be real. Some kind of light that needs to be truth. A little part deep inside ourselves that needs to be bundled up and stored away; covered by a tarp to keep the prying fingers of dust and time at bay. Raindrops that we so passively and desperately ignore with the hope that they might pour themselves back into the cloud.
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